Look who’s back!

Some days, I just don’t know how I can stand it.

Twilight: Eclipse is coming out this week. I thought that now that the entire world has vampire desire in their veins, that maybe, just maybe, I could finally win over a girl with my dangerous creature of the night routine. As I approached Chloe, rare confidence beating in my chest (in place of the wounded heart that never will again), Kenny tripped me and I fell face first into the bucket the janitor expels his chewing tobacco into. They laughed, I cried, and then spent the rest of the day in the nurse’s office with a “headache.”. :'(((((((

Twilight puts a lot of unfair pressure on us less fortunate vampires. Edward and the others are all so perfect and all the rest of us are expected to follow suit. Everyone gets very angry when a young girl kills herself with anorexia trying to look like a supermodel, but no one cares that I haven’t eaten pretty much ever simply because no girl will have me because I’m not Edward. Why does nobody see the hypocrisy? The pressure to be perfect and sexy at all times is killing me! Not literally, of course, because I cannot die ever at all,unfortunately.

– Emo McFangface